catnipping

i am not addicted

my roommate occasionally treats me to the special herb. he sprinkles it on the top floor of my three-floor scratching post.

after some initial sniffing, i like to eat it. then i sit back and enjoy the special effects.

don’t bother me when i am catnipping.

i mean, just don’t bother me.

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why not make me two pies?

i could crack these if i wanted to.

it must be fall since the yard is filling up with these things that keep all the &*^$#!ing squirrels alive.

my roommate took a stand against these rodents in favor of a some sort of sugary pie concoction. i wont eat any of that. but i do appreciate his efforts to reduce the population of my jumping brown nemeses.

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record setter

i’m normally not afraid of heights. but this deal i got sucked into in new mexico this weekend tested my limits.

but hey. i’ll do anything for a kitty treat.

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storage snores

more fuzzy animals please. and i don’t mean hairy backs in wife-beater t-shirts.

my roommate watches the most stupid tv shows. i prefer hockey or tennis. something with constant movement from a fixed angle. better yet, wilderness shows on animal planet. here’s a suggestion – world’s dumbest squirrels. ┬áplenty of material there.

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bad boy

i don’t understand why my roommate gets excited when i sleep on the dining room table.

next time get the beef-scented candles

i sleep up here all day when he’s at work and nobody seems to mind.

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easily fascinated

where's that coming from?this stream of water has my attention. i’d like one of my own near my food dish. maybe add some live fish, too.

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work, work, work

i am ready for prime time

my roommate said he would disconnect my internet service if i didn’t post something new to my blog in the next hour.

he gave me an hour. me, with no opposable thumbs.

why is ‘opposable’ coming up as misspelled? i even checked it on google. it’s there. trust me. now, why does ‘google’ have red dots under it. ugh… i no longer trust spell checkers. that may be a topic for a future post. i will put it on my list under ‘litter reviews.’

i am getting distracted, but that is what cats do.

back to the ultimatum. i told my roommate, in so many meows, that i have been extremely occupied of late with the online commenting circuit. cnn, the new york times, and even the digital version of my local paper. maybe some others. i lose track. they all accept opinions from cats. amazing–and true.

i registered on disqus, where i also uploaded one of my better self portraits to mark my opinion territory. [now if i could just remember my password….]

my ultimate plan is to be one of those talking heads on the fox network. i mean, it can’t be that hard. just listen to them.

or maybe i could get a gig as a play-by-play commentator for that show flying anvils on the science channel. it is another one of those ‘any moron can do that’ shows. this time involving people in coveralls putting gunpowder beneath anvils and lighting it. they run away a few yards and watch the fifty-pound pieces of iron–with sharp edges, fly 200 feet in the air. more fun than a feather stick.

there’s also an opening for superintendent of my local school district i’m angling for. superintendent katz has a nice ring to it. that requires some shift key time…

SUperintendent Katz.

yes. very nice. even with the uppercase u i missed. need to learn to use a mouse. that coming from a cat no less.

bottom line–i would take any job that comes with a gavel.

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